youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
