maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
