His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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