We're facebook friends in real life
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
