I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
