Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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