the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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