I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
