I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
