Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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