he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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