I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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