Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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