My first STD was from a foam party
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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