I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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