You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
