Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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