He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
