just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
