I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
