Cold hands, warm shart.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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