do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
