That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
