his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
