Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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