Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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