i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize