you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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