You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
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