And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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