i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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