eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
