toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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