the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
