6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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