It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I could fuck to npr.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
