he thought i was a dude.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize