i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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