this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
