Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
