Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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