Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
