Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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