she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize