Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize