you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
