Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
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