You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
