i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
