he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i will never coherently bang her
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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