Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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