i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
