Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
