The maid of honor just puked.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize