We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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