I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
