Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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