this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
