Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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