the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
