Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
