hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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