then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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