I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
