I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
