it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
