Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize