Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
