i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize