the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
